


I'm the Pilot

by OhMaven



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bodhi Rook is a PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL OKAY, Fluff, Gen, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, but he's also a little bit more than just that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-10-20 23:41:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10673181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhMaven/pseuds/OhMaven
Summary: "And when he delivered his message, they would all understand. They would accept him as a good man, a brave man." - Rogue One: A Star Wars StoryIt's Bodhi Appreciation Week 2017!





	I'm the Pilot

**Author's Note:**

> Day One: Bodhi + Rogue One crew bonding. :D

_ I never lied to you.  _ **_I never lied to you!_ **

The words pulsated in his mind, in time to the throbbing of his aching skull. Bodhi opened his eyes slowly, letting the artificial light of the cockpit burn away the lingering memories of his nightmare. It came less frequently now, though Bodhi suspected he would never be entirely rid of it - or its influence. He had never been a particularly steady man  _ before _ Bor Gullet, but the aftermath had ripped him wide open and all the years since had managed to do were suture together the yawning void of his memories and self. He could function, but the glaring scar was  _ there _ .

The last words he’d thought  _ before _ always accompanied his waking thoughts as he roused from the bad dreams. Bodhi was getting used to them - had learned to take pride in their veracity. Whatever he’d done, whatever he’d been, he was  _ not _ a liar.

“You did not sleep long.” The words were muted - but only in an effort to keep from waking the others in various positions of sleep behind them. K-2SO was rarely soft-spoken otherwise. “Your vitals are showing that you still need approximately-”   
  
Bodhi lifted a hand, and the droid stopped speaking. The pilot didn’t have it in him to be as brusque as Cassian was (although he knew that was just how the man showed his affection for the droid), but sometimes he didn’t need to hear what Kaytoo was trying to convey. Instead, Bodhi turned his attention to the controls, leaning forward to check on their progress, on the status of their ship. Anything.

“The others dream, too.” The droid was matter-of-fact in tone, but not unkind. Bodhi appreciated that although K2 was no kinder in word to him than to Jyn, he managed to somehow be gentler in delivery. “I’m told it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”   
  
No, perhaps it wasn’t. Still, Bodhi often felt as though he had less reason for the nightmares that tormented him. He wasn’t Cassian with his past sins, or Jyn with her demons. He was just a local boy from Jedha, who’d joined up to become an Imperial pilot because what else had there been for him? He shrugged. The droid didn’t comment further, and Bodhi was grateful for  _ that _ too. Jyn would have pried. Cassian would have looked at him and seen too much. In some ways, he prefers the company of the Imperial droid. They’re both defectors. Both a little off. Neither one felt badly for the other. Bodhi relished that, felt on equal footing here.

After a moment of silence, Bodhi could hear someone moving around in the back, and then footsteps in the cockpit. He turned in time to see Jyn lean forward, brace her hand on his shoulder. “How are you holding up?”   
  
“We’re fine, I think. We’re fine, Kaytoo?”   
  
The old Imperial droid turned his head to regard Jyn with unblinking eyes. He liked for everyone to think that he hated Jyn, but the truth was they were a little too alike for anyone who knew them both to believe it. After a moment the droid simply replied, “yes.”    
  
Jyn’s hand squeezed his shoulder lightly. “If you need a break, let one of us know. It’s been a long day for you, and we’ve had a rest.”   
  
After he nodded, Jyn retreated back to where Cassian no doubt waited. They thought they were  _ so subtle _ but Bodhi had news for them. It was nice, watching their feelings develop and unfold. He’d come to think of Jyn very much as a sister - she certainly acted as he’d always imagined one would. They were, he decided, very much like a little family. It felt traitorous to think that, when they’d left his family to turn to dust in Jedha City - but he couldn’t think about that.   
  
Thinking about home always led him to thinking about Bor Gullet, and if he thought about  _ that _ …   
  
Another hand gripped his shoulder. Bodhi flinched, eyes still fixated on the viewport, mind still picturing the bright light and rubble that had been all that was left of  _ home _ . He could hear his name, distantly, a tangible thing that he could reach out and hold fast to if he so wanted. Bodhi wasn’t sure he wanted to.    
  
“ _ Bodhi _ .” Cassian’s hand was shaking him now. Bodhi blinked, and then blinked again.    
  
_ I’m the pilot _ . It was a truth, unquestionable.  _ I am not a liar. _ Also true. For all that he was, for all that he had been, Bodhi Rook didn’t lie.  _ Galen Erso sent me _ . He had; Jyn and Cassian affirmed as much.  _ I’m the pilot _ .   
  
Slowly, Bodhi came back to himself, cheeks flushed with shame that Cassian had witnessed one of his small breaks. Usually it was just himself and Kaytoo, and the droid was adept at making sure their ship didn’t falter while he was gripped in panic. All this time, and he  _ still _ wasn’t reliable. Still wasn’t whole.   
  
“How long has he been like this?” Cassian’s voice again, but not directed at  _ him _ . Bodhi could hear Kaytoo’s response, selling him out, but kept his gaze down. This would be it, this would be the time they would send him away, realize he couldn’t function as a vital part of their team, couldn’t support their mission.   
  
That hand squeezed again. “The nightmares are difficult.” There wasn’t pity in Cassian’s voice, so much as understanding. Too much understanding. “We all have them - but I don’t think you like for us to know that, do you?”   
  
Bodhi shrugged.   
  
“You’ve been through a lot, you know. Jedha. What they did to you, Saw’s forces. I’d be surprised if you didn’t have the dreams.” Cassian’s other hand landed on Bodhi’s far shoulder, pushing him gently out of his seat.    
  
“Not me,” Kaytoo interjected suddenly. Both men turned to look at him. “I don’t dream.”   
  
Bodhi couldn’t help the wry grin - wasn’t that why they kept the droid around? - but let Cassian push him entirely out of his seat.   
  
“Yeah, we know Kay.” Cassian rolled his eyes. “Bodhi, go get some rest, will you? Jyn won’t until you do, and I swear she’s gonna fall over any minute.”   
  
Bodhi had just seen Jyn a few minutes ago, she looked  _ fine _ , but after a moment’s thought he realized that they were trying to spare his pride. Like an equal. Like a  _ friend _ . He nodded, and turned to exit the cockpit. 


End file.
